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Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. - Steve Landesberg

Honesty…

The best part of the day is taking your pants off, knowing you don’t have to put them back on until tomorrow.

The best part of the day…

Some people rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope for the best

Some people rise and shine…

The best way to lose weight is to only eat inspirational quotes.

The best way to lose weight…

You’ll be sad for a while, then you’ll stop giving a fuck. And it will be the best feeling ever.

You’ll be sad for a while…

If you can’t handle me at my WORST unfortunately that’s also my BEST.

If you can’t handle me…

I really do try to see the best in people. But seriously, some of you fuckers are making it so damn hard.

I really do try…

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to. Unless you’re in prison.

Surprise sex…