Body

Dad bods are fine until you make her mad. Then you’re a fat fuck.

Dad bods are fine…

My body is a filter: coffee comes in, sarcasm comes out.

My body is a filter…

Getting old is weird because you're still that same enthusiastic kid trapped in a shitshow of a body.

Getting old…

Out of all my body parts I feel like my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least a thousand eye rolls a day.

Out of all my body parts…

If my body was a car I would trade it for a newer model. Cause every time I cough or sneeze, my radiator leeks and and my exhaust backfires.

If my body was a car…

I planned to work out and have a nice body for people to look at this summer, but then I remembered I like food more than I like people.

I planned to work out…

The human body has 7 trillion nerves and some people manage to get on every single fucking one of them.

The human body…

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in a body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

I am a person…