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Fat

I wish pets lived longer, life wasn't so expensive, cake didn't make you fat and people weren't idiots.

I wish pets lived longer…

Dad bods are fine until you make her mad. Then you’re a fat fuck.

Dad bods are fine…

I wish everything was as easy as getting fat.

I wish…

When people suck the life out of you, wouldn’t it be nice if they took some fat too?

When people suck…

Every guy thinks that every girl’s dream is to find the perfect guy. Wrong! Every girl’s dream is to eat without getting fat.

Every guy thinks…

The best things in life either make you fat, drunk or pregnant.

The best things in life…