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I Wish

I wish pets lived longer, life wasn't so expensive, cake didn't make you fat and people weren't idiots.

I wish pets lived longer…

I wish I lacked common sense. They all seem so happy.

I wish…

I wish common sence was more common.

I wish…

I wish I had as much confidence as my cat does when he licks his ass in the middle of a room full of people.

I wish I had…

I wish offended people would react like fainting goats and quietly tip over.

I wish…

I wish more people would respect my personal space. I only need 2-3 miles.

I wish more people would respect…

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love getting drunk and eating everything.

I wish I loved exercise…

I wish people would ask me if I give a fuck before they started talking to me.

I wish people would ask…

I wish everyone would just tell each other, "It’s ok. I don't know what I'm fucking doing either".

I wish…

I wish running from my problems would burn calories.

I wish…