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Marriage

Marriages are like pancakes. There’s no shame in throwing out the first one.

Marriages are…

When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. And that tells you everything you need to know about marriage.

When someone is murdered…

Marriage is just a nice word for adopting a fully grown man who can’t take care of himself.

Marriage is…

Marriage is finding that special someone you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Marriage is…

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sound of their chewing because that's the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Before marrying someone…

Marriage. Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Marriage…

Marriage is a workshop, where husband works and wife shops.

Marriage is a workshop…

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you wish you had a club and a spade.

Marriage…