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Need

Everyone needs a friend who they probably shouldn't be allowed to sit next to at a serious function.

Everyone needs a friend…

I don't need “Anger management” classes. You need “Shut the fuck up” classes.

I don’t need…

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you have been humble long enough. Start acting a god damn fool.

I don’t know who needs…

Being abducted by aliens might just be the vacation I need at this point.

Being abducted…

Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be OK... or some rough sex or whatever.

Sometimes all you need…

Someone told me I need to stop using F-bombs. What the fuck is an F-bomb?

Someone told me…

I hate my job but it pays for my alcohol and I need alcohol, because I hate my job.

I hate my job…

Some of you need to go bowling so you can learn how to stay in your own damn lane.

Some of you need…

Do something fucking nice for someone! Leave them the fuck alone. They don’t need your fucking bullshit!

Do something fucking nice…

I wish more people would respect my personal space. I only need 2-3 miles.

I wish more people would respect…