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Offended

Quit getting offended at cuss words. I said “Fuck”, I didn’t smack your baby... Get the fuck over it. Fuck.

Quit getting offended…

I wish offended people would react like fainting goats and quietly tip over.

I wish…

I just want to say to anyone I may have offended yesterday, you can go fuck yourself again today.

I just want to say…

The world is getting too sensitive. Soon I won’t be able to make fun of myself without people getting offended.

The world is getting…

The world is magical place full of people waiting to be offended by something.

The world is magical place…

I hate when people tell me to be myself then get offended when I tell them how fucking dumb I think they are.

I hate when people tell…

I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly.

I would like to apologize…

If you’re offended by the things I say, imagine the stuff I hold back.

If you’re offended…

Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the the ones I keep to myself. - Patsy Cline

Oh, I offended you…

If I offended you, cry me a river. I’ll bring snacks and a raft. I will literally float down your tears eating chips and working on my tan.

If I offended you…