Offended

I hate when people tell me to be myself then get offended when I tell them how fucking dumb I think they are.

I hate when people tell…

I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly.

I would like to apologize…

If you’re offended by the things I say, imagine the stuff I hold back.

If you’re offended…

Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the the ones I keep to myself. - Patsy Cline

Oh, I offended you…

If I offended you, cry me a river. I’ll bring snacks and a raft. I will literally float down your tears eating chips and working on my tan.

If I offended you…

I think it's funny that people who treat you like shit get offended when you finally do the same to them.

I think it’s funny…