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Penis

Life is like a penis. It’s short, but seems long when it gets hard.

Life is like a penis…

They say penis size is related to shoe size. That makes clowns much more scarier.

They say penis size…

When a man is trying to make a decision, it’s often a struggle between his head and his heart. Then his penis walks in and says, “relax guys, I got this”.

When a man is trying…

Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Give him a pen and he'll probably draw a penis.

Give a man a fish…

The bigger the dick the smaller the penis.

The bigger the dick…

When a male octopus finds a mate, he rips off his penis and throws it at the female so she can inseminate herself, then he grows a new penis. If that isn't the most epic way to tell someone to "go fuck yourself" I don't know what is.

When a male octopus…

Girls always say they appreciate the little things in life, until you whip out your little penis.

Girls always say…

Life is a lot like a penis. Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely… then woman makes it hard.

Life is a lot like…

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. – Robin Williams

God gave men…