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Phone

I’m not saying I hate you but I’d unplug your life support to charge my phone.

I’m not saying I hate you…

Not to brag, but I was alive when you could slam the phone down to hang up on someone. It was spectacular.

Not to brag…

Adulthood is mostly whispering “for fuck’s sake” every time the phone rings.

Adulthood is…

I confess, I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

I confess…

I can’t be the only one that gives the middle finger to my phone when certain people text me.

I can’t be the only one…

If your phone battery lasts all day, it’s because no one likes you.

If your phone battery…

I’m not the type of person you should put on speaker phone.

I’m not the type…

TIP OF THE DAY: always make sure the phone is 100% hung up before you call someone an asshole.

TIP OF THE DAY…