Home  Browse  Tags  Random  Store

Something

Today I learned the average adult swears 80-90 times per day. Today I also learned that I’m above average at something.

Today I learned…

My brain says “let’s do something exciting today”. My body says “don’t listen to that fool”.

My brain says…

If nobody hates you, you’re doing something wrong. If everybody hates you, you might be just shit.

If nobody hates you…

I grew up on “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about”. Followed by “fix your damn face”.

I grew up on…

If you are going to do something stupid, then at least be smart about it. - Maximus Freeman

If you are going…

Do something fucking nice for someone! Leave them the fuck alone. They don’t need your fucking bullshit!

Do something fucking nice…

I don't pretend to be something I'm not. I know I'm an asshole, and I own that shit like a motherfucker.

I don’t pretend…

Not telling me something because you didn’t want to piss me off is the best way to piss me off.

Not telling me something…

If you can’t say something nice, say something clever but devastating.

If you can’t say something nice…

I never have to ask "Is it something I said?" It's something I said.

I never have to ask…