Wake Up

When people say they slept like a baby, does that mean they woke up 3 times that night screaming and shit their pants?

When people say…

I wake up with a good attitude every day. Then idiots happen.

I wake up…

Don't like me? Cool. I don't wake up every day to impress you.

Don’t like me?…

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to. Unless you’re in prison.

Surprise sex…