Home     Browse     Tags     Random

Wake Up

The only reason I wanted to be an adult was to have sex and curse. All this paying bills and waking up to go to work wasn’t the plan.

The only reason…

Wake up. Kick ass. Be kind. Repeat.

Wake up…

Folgers got it wrong. The best part of waking up is going back to bed after you pee.

Folgers got it wrong…

I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says "Haha good one!", and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.

I wake up everyday…

When people say they slept like a baby, does that mean they woke up 3 times that night screaming and shit their pants?

When people say…

I wake up with a good attitude every day. Then idiots happen.

I wake up…

Don't like me? Cool. I don't wake up every day to impress you.

Don’t like me?…

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to. Unless you’re in prison.

Surprise sex…