Water

I'll eat a bowl of water with a fork before I give a fuck about your opinion of me.

I’ll eat a bowl of water…

Bull sharks swim in shallow water. Bullshit swims in shallow people.

Bull sharks swim…

Humans are 85% water and 15% of idiot meat.

Humans are…

If you’re testing my waters, you better know how to swim.

If you’re testing my waters…

Dr's say that drinking 8 glasses of water a day helps your skin look younger. My advice: Drink 8 glasses of wine a day an you won't give a damn how old you look.

Dr’s say…

Have you ever looked at someone and just imagined holding their head under water? Oh, me neither.

Have you ever looked…

If you hold a person underwater long enough, they stop being an asshole.

If you hold a person…

Funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems like it’s impossible but 8 beers and 6 shots in 3 hours go down like a fat kid on see-saw…

Funny how…

71% of our planet is covered by water. 28,9 is covered by fucking idiots.

71% of our planet…