Getting Older

Three things to remember when you get older: never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart.

Three things to remember when you get older: never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart.

Funny about getting older, your eyesight may weaken yet you can see through people much better.

Funny about getting older, your eyesight may weaken yet you can see through people much better.

The older you get the more you appreciate being at home not doing a fucking thing.

The older you get the more you appreciate being at home not doing a fucking thing.

You know you’re getting old when you barely do anything all day, but still need to have a nap to continue to do barely anything.

You know you’re getting old when you barely do anything all day, but still need to have a nap to continue to do barely anything.

The older I get, the less I try to tip toe around people's feelings. You either like me or you don't. Simple as that.

The older I get, the less I try to tip toe around people’s feelings. You either like me or you don’t. Simple as that.

You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a bathroom without thinking "I might as well pee while I'm here".

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking “I might as well pee while I’m here”.

I don't think we do get smarter as we get older. I just think we run out of stupid things to do.

I don’t think we do get smarter as we get older. I just think we run out of stupid things to do.

The older I get the more everyone can kiss my ass.

The older I get the more everyone can kiss my ass.

The older I get the more I come to realize that I just don't care what the hell anyone thinks.

The older I get the more I come to realize that I just don’t care what the hell anyone thinks.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be older. This shit is not what I expected.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be older. This shit is not what I expected.