Life

Mondays are fine. It’s your life that sucks. - Ricky Gervais

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Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something. – William Goldman

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Raise your hand if you have had quite enough unsolicited advice about what should be done with any lemons that life may or may not give you.

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Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.

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Seeing people walk out of my life is really painful. I want them to run.

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Life is what happens when you’re busy reading inspirational quotes.

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When life knocks you down, stay there and take a nap.

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Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

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Three stages of life: 1. Birth, 2. What the fuck is this, 3. Death

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Once a girl takes off her bra, don’t ask her to do shit. She’s clocked out from life.

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It’s better to have loved and lost than to live with a piece of shit that makes you miserable the rest of your life.

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I really hope my life doesn’t flash before my eyes when I die. There’s some shit I’d rather not see again.

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Life hack: you can’t do anything wrong if you don’t do anything at all.

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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. - George Carlin

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Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

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Oh my lifestyle offends you? Go hold your breath until I give a damn.

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Why is life testing me so hard lately? I mean I will survive but damn give me a fucking break.

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When people suck the life out of you, wouldn’t it be nice if they took some fat too?

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Life is like sex, you can either lay back and let it screw you, or you can get on top and ride the hell out of it.

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When life knocks you down, calmly get back up, smile and very politely say "you hit like a bitch".

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