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Money

Maybe money can’t buy happiness, but I think it’s only fair to give me some and let me learn that lesson myself.

Maybe money can’t buy happiness, but I think it’s only fair to give me some and let me learn that lesson myself.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. - Oscar Wilde

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. – Oscar Wilde

I wish people were like money, so you could hold them up to the light to see which ones are real and which ones are fake.

I wish people were like money, so you could hold them up to the light to see which ones are real and which ones are fake.

They say money doesn't bring happiness... I say neither does being broke.

They say money doesn’t bring happiness… I say neither does being broke.

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I'd just laugh and search with them.

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness never paid for a divorce before.

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness never paid for a divorce before.

Need money for college. Need college for a job. Need a job for money. I wonder who was the mastermind behind this genius system. - Tom Hanks

Need money for college. Need college for a job. Need a job for money. I wonder who was the mastermind behind this genius system. – Tom Hanks

WE ARE ALL: Ugly to someone, fake to someone, stuck-up to someone, ain’t shit to someone, a loser to someone, a bitch to someone. BUT WHO THE HELL CARES. Make your money, pay your bills, take care of you and your family, and don’t worry what anyone else thinks.

WE ARE ALL: Ugly to someone, fake to someone, stuck-up to someone, ain’t shit to someone, a loser to someone, a bitch to someone. BUT WHO THE HELL CARES. Make your money, pay your bills, take care of you and your family, and don’t worry what anyone else thinks.

Whoever thinks money doesn't buy happiness, transfer that shit to my account.

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness, transfer that shit to my account.

Do you run? Yes. Out of patience, fucks, and money.

Do you run? Yes. Out of patience, fucks, and money.

They say "do what you love and money will follow". So I ate cheesecake and drank some wine... Now I wait.

They say “do what you love and money will follow”. So I ate cheesecake and drank some wine… Now I wait.

We buy shit we don’t need, with the money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like.

We buy shit we don’t need, with the money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like.

Lord, please give me patience because if you give me strength I’ll need bail money too.

Lord, please give me patience because if you give me strength I’ll need bail money too.

Everyone complains about a lack of money, but none complain about a lack of brains. – Jewish proverb

Everyone complains about a lack of money, but none complain about a lack of brains. – Jewish proverb

Maybe money doesn't buy happiness, but I'm accepting donations to test that theory.

Maybe money doesn’t buy happiness, but I’m accepting donations to test that theory.

I don’t understand why drunk me always seems to have more money than sober me.

I don’t understand why drunk me always seems to have more money than sober me.