Drunk me loves creating awkward situations for sober me.
Have you ever looked around you and thought… I am too sober for this shit?!
I don’t pretend to be anything I am not… Except for sober, I’ve pretended to be sober a few times.
Listen, drunk me and sober me are not the same person. So if drunk me said or did something, you have to take it up with drunk me. Don’t come at sober me. We weren’t there. We don’t know what happened.
MY 4 MOODS: I’m too old for this shit, I’m too tired for this shit, I’m too sober for this shit, I don’t have time for this shit.
Don’t talk to me about shit that happened when I was drunk. “Drunk me” and “Sober me” are not on speaking terms.
There are two types of people who really irritate me: A drunk person when I’m sober and a sober person when I’m drunk.
In alcohol’s defence I’ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too.
Don’t judge a person for drinking and swearing, judge the quiet sober ones. Those fuckers are up to something.
I don’t understand why drunk me always seems to have more money than sober me.