Woman

Women fall in love with what they hear. Men fall in love with what they see. That's why women wear makeup and men lie.

Women fall in love with what they hear. Men fall in love with what they see. That’s why women wear makeup and men lie.

There is a big difference between a QUIET woman and a SILENT woman. The first one is a miracle. The second one is a time bomb.

There is a big difference between a QUIET woman and a SILENT woman. The first one is a miracle. The second one is a time bomb.

Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms.

Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms.

If a woman says, “do what you want”, do not do what you want. Stand still, don’t blink, don’t answer, don’t even breathe. Just play dead.

If a woman says, “do what you want”, do not do what you want. Stand still, don’t blink, don’t answer, don’t even breathe. Just play dead.

One woman’s “fuck him” is another woman’s “finally”.

One woman’s “fuck him” is another woman’s “finally”.

If a woman tells you that you’re right, that’s called sarcasm.

If a woman tells you that you’re right, that’s called sarcasm.

Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.

Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.

For all the women that brag about how many men want them, just remember the cheapest prices attract the most customers.

For all the women that brag about how many men want them, just remember the cheapest prices attract the most customers.

Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband.

Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband.

Life is a lot like a penis. Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely… then woman makes it hard.

Life is a lot like a penis. Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely… then woman makes it hard.

Men look at woman’s behind and go “wow! What an ass!” Woman look at man’s face and think the same.

Men look at woman’s behind and go “wow! What an ass!” Woman look at man’s face and think the same.

How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Behind every angry woman stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.

Behind every angry woman stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.

Arguing with a woman is like getting arrested. Everything you say can and will be used against you.

Arguing with a woman is like getting arrested. Everything you say can and will be used against you.

Don’t try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other.

Don’t try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other.

Behind every man is a woman resisting the urge to choke him.

Behind every man is a woman resisting the urge to choke him.

52% of women fake orgasms. 100% of men don’t give a shit.

52% of women fake orgasms. 100% of men don’t give a shit.

A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.

A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.