Sarcastic Quotes

People always tell introverts to be more talkative and leave their comfort zones, yet no one tells extroverts to shut up and make the zone more comfortable.

People always tell…

I apologize when I’m wrong. I own that shit. I do not apologize when I’m provoked. You lit the match. Now eat the fire.

I apologize…

You will be hated if you can’t be manipulated.

You will be hated…

Being an adult is just spending every day looking at a pill bottle wondering, “did I take it or not?!”

Being an adult…

Sometimes people come into your life and they need to stop doing that.

Sometimes people come…

I am not as mean as I could be and I want people to be more grateful for that.

I am not as mean…

No bond is stronger than 2 coworkers who hate the same person.

No bond is stronger…

Glad to see so many embracing therapy. A few of you need an exorcism as well but... baby steps.

Glad to see…

Look, someone’s gotta be the weirdest person in any given social group and it might as well be me.

Look, someone’s gotta be…

Anything you can do, I can do better. Unless it’s being a piece of shit. Then you win.

Anything you can do…