Sarcastic Quotes, Thoughts, Sayings, Remarks

If you can't look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.
A lot of people lacked that gift: knowing when to fuck off. - Gillian Flynn
Did you know? Smoking is good for the environment because it kills human beings.
Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said.
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain. Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time...
Ambitchious: Striving to be more of a bitch than the average bitch.
Dear life, when I said "can my day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
People like to say they are "Real", but they don't say real what. Real shady, real needy, a real piece of shit. Sorry, but I need you to be more specific.
The older I get, the less I try to tip toe around people's feelings. You either like me or you don't. Simple as that.
Life belongs to those who don’t give a fuck.
Ninety-five percent of conversations is unbelievable waste of time.
CUNSTPATED: Emotional or spiritual blockage caused by having to deal with too many cunts in one day.
And a "Fuck You" goes to every person who took advantage of my kindness.
I've come to the point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck.
If you don't swear when you drive then you aren't paying enough attention to the road.
Tell me not to do something and I will do it twice and take pictures.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. - George Carlin
ZODIAC SIGN: An excuse for people to justify their shitty behavior.
If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for "Real Life", they'd offer a class called "Working with assholes".
MY VOCABULARY: 50% swearing, 50% sarcasm.