Sarcastic Thoughts and Quotes

The world will be a better place if you kick an asshole in the face.
The older I get the more everyone can kiss my ass.
Throw lamps at people who need to lighten the fuck up.
Sometimes I enjoy when people stop being friends with me. It's like the garbage took itself out.
Therapy is nice... But screaming FUCK at the top of your lungs for 10 seconds is a lot faster and cheaper.
The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes, they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers... - Robert Kirkman
The older I get the more I come to realize that I just don't care what the hell anyone thinks.
The short answer is NO. The long answer is OH FUCK NO.
They say milk is good for your teeth. You know what else is good for your teeth? Minding your own fucking business.
People hate the truth. Unfortunately for them, the truth doesn't give a shit.
Some people are the human version of period cramps.
What the fuck are birds so excited about at 5am?
Romeo died because of Juliet, Jack died because of Rose. Stay single if you want to live.
The less you give a fuck, the happier you'll be.
Do you ever just wanna grab someone by the shoulders, look them deep in the eyes and whisper "no one gives a shit".
Sometimes you just need to take a break from everything and fuck a little... or a lot.
Trust gets you killed, love gets you hurt, and being real gets you hated.
People say I act like I don't give a fuck. Motherfuckers... I'm not acting.
Sometimes you gotta feed people some bullshit just to see who they run back and tell.
What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut will sleep with anyone, a bitch will sleep with anyone but you.