Sarcastic Quotes

The best friendships are built on solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, laughter and dislike of the same people.

The best friendships…

Marriage is finding that special someone you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Marriage is…

Your sobriety has truly demonstrated to me that people don’t need alcohol to be annoying.

Your sobriety…

Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.

Tact is for people…

Taking back your ex is like buying your shit back from your own garage sale.

Taking back your ex…

Every time a woman shaves her legs and doesn’t get laid, a unicorn dies.

Every time a woman shaves…

The best way to lose weight is to only eat inspirational quotes.

The best way to lose weight…

I wish people would ask me if I give a fuck before they started talking to me.

I wish people would ask…

I’m just WTF-ING my way through life.

I’m just WTF-ING…

Being alone in the toilet is the reminder that you will always be alone when shit happens in your life. Be strong.

Being alone…