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Sarcastic Quotes

I’m honestly a mean ass nice person.

I’m honestly a mean ass…

Does running out of fucks count as cardio?

Does running…

I’m ready for rich people problems. I mastered broke people problems, move me to the next level, please.

I’m ready…

I just laugh stuff off because prison don't cook the food I like.

I just laugh…

The only place I'll be flying this year is off the fucking handle.

The only place…

You can’t have trust issues if you don’t trust anyone.

You can’t have trust issues…

Nope, I can't go to hell. Satan still has restraining order against me.

Nope, I can’t go to hell…

I’m not saying I hate you but I’d unplug your life support to charge my phone.

I’m not saying I hate you…

Too many people are walking around unmedicated, unsupervised, and affecting my life.

Too many people…

Don’t try to play crazy with me. I’m better at it.

Don’t try to play crazy…