Sarcastic Quotes

Men at 25 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller.

Men at 25 play football…

In life you either “pisses pants” or you “shits aggressively”.

In life you either…

What leads you to believe I don’t like you I don’t but I wanna know what gave it anyway.

What leads you to believe…

I like crazy, fucked up people. At least I know what I’m dealing with. It’s the ones who seem nice and normal that scare me.

I like crazy…

I really hate it when someone accuses me of not caring about whatever the fuck they were talking about.

I really hate it…

Don’t lead, I'll wander off bored. Don't follow. I'll get you lost. Walk beside me and help me cause trouble.

Don’t lead…

I’m not sick, I’m twisted. Sick makes it sound like there is a cure.

I’m not sick…

Their opinion doesn’t sleep in your bed at night, so don’t let it fuck with you.

Their opinion…

Sometimes being “The Better Person” is like being the “Pooper Scooper”; you may not want to do it but it has to be done.

Sometimes being “The Better Person…

Some people shit from their mouths and talk thru their asses.

Some people shit…