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Sarcastic Quotes

My life is full of ups and downs. I am usually up to no good and down for anything.

My life is…

You would lose your mind trying to understand mine.

You would lose your mind…

Sometimes I just want to go back in time and just kick the shit out of myself while yelling “what the hell is wrong with you”.

Sometimes I just want…

I don’t have a “type” if I like you, I like you. And If I like you, you’re pretty special. Because I hate everyone.

I don’t have a “type” if I like you…

My last word will probably be “oops”.

My last word…

Why is being alive so expensive. I’m not even having a good time.

Why is being alive so expensive…

I don’t get nearly enough credit for managing not to be a violent psychopath.

I don’t get nearly enough…

Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not acceptable for me to point it out?

Why is it acceptable…

My sense of humor earns me countless uncomfortable stares.

My sense of humor…

Not telling me something because you didn’t want to piss me off is the best way to piss me off.

Not telling me something…