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Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it's finally fucking over.

Don’t cry…

Have you ever wondered if the dollar bills in your purse or wallet were ever in a strippers butt crack? I bet you’re wondering now. Have a nice day!

Have you ever wondered…

Just remember, other people's opinions won't pay your bills.

Just remember…

WARNING! Bitching at me to do things wont make me do them any faster. If anything I'll take even longer just to piss you the fuck off.

WARNING!…

Some days I really believe that my horoscope is going to say: "Just don't fucking kill anyone today"

Some days I really believe…

Everyone wants to be accepted and liked except for me. I couldn't give a flying fuck.

Everyone wants…

I'm honestly convinced some women don't fart. They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.

I’m honestly convinced…

I don't want something really bad to happen to you, but if a bird shit on you, that would be fine.

I don’t want…

I don't get this whole, "no fucks given thing"... I have a ton of fucks to give: fuck off, fuck you, fuck that,fuck this...

I don’t get…

I say what the fuck needs to be said, not what you want to hear.

I say…