Alcohol: Giving you the ambition to do anything, while simultaneously taking away your capability to do so.
Half the day, I wonder if it’s too late for coffee. The other half, I wonder if it’s too early for alcohol.
I am not made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Sarcasm, alcohol, anger issues and carbs is more accurate.
When I drink alcohol, everyone says I’m an alcoholic. But when I drink fanta, no one says I’m fantastic.
I pretend to like people everyday. It’s called being an adult. That’s why we’re allowed to buy alcohol.
At this point in my life I am positive some people were put on this earth to test my alcohol tolerance level.