Alcohol

Don’t ever make me choose between alcohol and you. I will miss you when I’m drunk.

Don’t ever make me…

ALCOHOL! because sometimes the truth needs laxative.

ALCOHOL…

Here is a reminder before you lose your shit today. They don’t serve alcohol in prison.

Here is a reminder…

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising. Are they ashamed of their customers?

I have never seen…

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries. It fills you up nicely but without the buzz.

Non-alcoholic beer…

I hate my job but it pays for my alcohol and I need alcohol, because I hate my job.

I hate my job…

Saw someone with “My work up is your work out” T-shirt. Well, my casual drinking is your alcohol poisoning. So fuck you.

Saw someone with…

We all deserve an alcoholiday.

We all deserve…

Never depend on someone else to make you happy, that’s what alcohol is for.

Never depend on someone…

It's true, alcohol kills people. But how many are born because of it?

It’s true, alcohol kills…