Alcohol

Alcohol: Giving you the ambition to do anything, while simultaneously taking away your capability to do so.

Half the day, I wonder if it’s too late for coffee. The other half, I wonder if it’s too early for alcohol.

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Every girl is beautiful. Sometimes it takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.

I am not made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Sarcasm, alcohol, anger issues and carbs is more accurate.

When I drink alcohol, everyone says I’m an alcoholic. But when I drink fanta, no one says I’m fantastic.

Alcohol may not be the answer, but it sure helps forget the question.

I pretend to like people everyday. It’s called being an adult. That’s why we’re allowed to buy alcohol.

At this point in my life I am positive some people were put on this earth to test my alcohol tolerance level.

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but The Bible says love your enemy. – Frank Sinatra