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Asshole

I can never tell if I’m a huge asshole or really caring because there are some people I’d drop everything for, and some I’d punch in the fucking throat just for looking at me.

I can never tell…

I should really let my inner asshole out more often, because holy hell, that fucker gets shit done.

I should really…

I don't pretend to be something I'm not. I know I'm an asshole, and I own that shit like a motherfucker.

I don’t pretend…

Even from all the way over here, I can still see what an asshole you are.

Even from all the way…

I’m a really nice person. But I don’t put up with people’s bullshit. If that makes me an asshole, so be it.

I’m a really nice person…

Cops never say “Thanks for committing crimes and keeping us employed”. Fucking assholes.

Cops never say…

Every great friendship starts with “When I first saw you I thought you were an asshole”.

Every great friendship…

Life is like a toilet. There’s always an asshole trying to shit on your day.

Life is like a toilet…

He who follows the herd only sees assholes.

He who follows the herd…

I often wonder if some people are assholes just by nature or if they strive hard to achieve that title.

I often wonder…