Asshole

You can be funny without being an asshole. I can’t... But you probably can.

You can be funny…

When you can be anything you want, an asshole seems an odd choice.

When you can be…

Never apologize for being an asshole, because once you stop there's always another one to take your place.

Never apologize…

Once an asshole, always an asshole.

Once an asshole…

I thought I had social anxiety. Turns out I just didn't want to hang out with a bunch of assholes.

I thought I had social anxiety…

I’m nice, but I'm also an asshole. I have a big heart, but fuck everyone. I care, but I also really don’t give a fuck. Hope all this makes sense.

I’m nice…

I’m not an asshole, I’m The Asshole, and it’s Mr Asshole to you.

I’m not an asshole…

They say the good die young. Lucky for me I’m an asshole.

They say the good die young…

Sure, I'm an asshole, but I'll make you smile.

Sure, I’m an asshole…

You call it “Road rage”. I call it “ Aggressively maneuvering around assholes that don’t know how to fucking drive”.

You call it “Road rage”…