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Asshole

I wonder what chairs think about all day: “Oh, here comes another asshole.” - Robin Williams

I wonder what chairs think about all day: “Oh, here comes another asshole.” – Robin Williams

I am pretty nice person, but I also realize that if there were an asshole championship, I would place respectfully in my weight division.

I am pretty nice person, but I also realize that if there were an asshole championship, I would place respectfully in my weight division.

I never dreamed I’d grow up to be an asshole but here I am killing it.

I never dreamed I’d grow up to be an asshole but here I am killing it.

I don’t mind being nice to people but I don’t have a problem with being an asshole either. It’s all on you.

I don’t mind being nice to people but I don’t have a problem with being an asshole either. It’s all on you.

It’s hard to be a mature adult when you’re surrounded by assholes.

It’s hard to be a mature adult when you’re surrounded by assholes.

Not sure if I hate everyone because they’re assholes or if I’m an asshole because I hate everyone.

Not sure if I hate everyone because they’re assholes or if I’m an asshole because I hate everyone.

Half of my problems are caused by my tone of voice and sarcasm. Everyone thinks I'm either mad, arguing or just an asshole. While actually, I’m just talking.

Half of my problems are caused by my tone of voice and sarcasm. Everyone thinks I’m either mad, arguing or just an asshole. While actually, I’m just talking.

Grant me the serenity to accept that earth is filled with assholes and fuckery that I cannot change, the courage not to be part of the assholery and fuckery, and the wisdom to know I’m the shit without shitting on others.

Grant me the serenity to accept that earth is filled with assholes and fuckery that I cannot change, the courage not to be part of the assholery and fuckery, and the wisdom to know I’m the shit without shitting on others.

Patience is like a toilet roll – the bigger asshole you are dealing with, the quicker it runs out.

Patience is like a toilet roll – the bigger asshole you are dealing with, the quicker it runs out.

I am not an asshole. I am a teller of unfortunate truth.

I am not an asshole. I am a teller of unfortunate truth.