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Dear Ex, if I could go back to the day I met you, I would stay at home and cook rice one by one.

Dear Ex…

Back in my day it was a game of dodgeball where you found out who really didn’t like you.

Back in my day…

Sometimes I just want to go back in time and just kick the shit out of myself while yelling “what the hell is wrong with you”.

Sometimes I just want…

Back in my day the only time we started panic buying was when the bartender shouted “Last Call”.

Back in my day…

If life turns her back on you, grab her ass. - Nelson Rodrigues

If life turns her back on you…

My ass contemplates those who talk behind my back. - Francis Picabia

My ass contemplates…

Taking back your ex is like buying your shit back from your own garage sale.

Taking back your ex…

I'm grateful to those who speak behind my back. My ass desperately needed friends.

I’m grateful to those…

Real friends talk shit to your face, and say nice things behind your back.

Real friends…

Taking your ex back is like going to a yard sale and buying back your own crap.

Taking your ex back…