Better

Anything you can do, I can do better. Unless it’s being a piece of shit. Then you win.

Anything you can do…

Whenever I’m about to give up, I remind myself the world would be a better place without me and I simply cannot let that happen.

Whenever I’m about to give up…

Life sucks and then it gets better. And then it sucks again... and then it just sucks.

Life sucks…

Confidence isn't thinking you’are better than everyone else, it’s realizing you have no fucking reason to compare yourself to anyone else.

Confidence…

Don’t try to play crazy with me. I’m better at it.

Don’t try to play crazy…

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. - Steve Landesberg

Honesty…

It’s better to be an old fart than it is to be a young shit head.

It’s better to be…

I hate it when people say “well, it could be worse”. Well, you know what? It could have been a hell of a lot better, too.

I hate it…

I’ve got a better chance finding a unicorn than I do of going through a whole day without dealing with some fucktard.

I’ve got a better chance…

Sometimes being “The Better Person” is like being the “Pooper Scooper”; you may not want to do it but it has to be done.

Sometimes being “The Better Person…