Home     Browse     Tags     Random

Friend

A good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying “Damn... We’re fucked up”.

A good friend…

Everyone needs a friend who they probably shouldn't be allowed to sit next to at a serious function.

Everyone needs a friend…

Your ex asking to stay friends after you break up is like kidnappers asking to stay in touch after they let you go.

Your ex asking…

I’m not interested in you, but we can be friends. By friends I mean don’t ever speak to me again.

I’m not interested in you…

Women on the same menstrual cycle as their friends should basically be referred to as gang members. That’s how dangerous they are.

Women on the same…

Everyone has that one friend that can turn every conversation into something dirty. I’m usually that friend.

Everyone has…

I can't be friends with sensitive ass people, I joke around way too much.

I can’t be friends…

Next time you're feeling down remember life is all about perspective. I have a friend who has sex 2-3 times a day, exercises twice a day, reads two books a week yet every day he complains about how much he hates prison.

Next time you’re feeling…

I may be going to hell, but at least all my friends will be there.

I may be going to hell,…

True friends don't judge each other. They judge other people together.

True friends…