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Fuck

If I have to fight for your attention then fuck your attention.

If I have to fight…

The longer you stay single, the more they fuck your future wife.

The longer you stay single…

Tomorrow's a new day and another chance to fuck things up just a little bit differently.

Tomorrow’s a new day…

I'm on that new "I don't give a fuck" diet. I've lost 10 assholes already.

I’m on that new…

Some people handle stress with yoga, meditation and long walks. I handle it with sarcasm, beer and telling people to fuck off.

Some people handle stress…

SWEARING. Because sometimes “gosh darn” and “meanie head” just don’t cover it.

“SWEARING IS UNATTRACTIVE”…

Hang on, I’m still trying to decide whether I don’t give a shit or if I don’t give a fuck.

Hang on…

I've reached a point where I can't tell if I'm actually dealing with life better or simply don't give a fuck anymore.

I’ve reached a point…

They say swearing is due to limited vocabulary. I know thousands of words, but I still prefer “fuck off” to “go away”.

They say swearing is…

Nothing inspires the words "fuck off", like someone asking me to watch my language.

Nothing inspires the words…