Fucked

The planet is fine. The people are fucked. - George Carlin

The planet is fine…

What doesn’t kill me is going to give me time to recover, and then you’re fucked.

What doesn’t kill me…

Success is like being pregnant. Everyone says congratulations but nobody knows how many times you were fucked.

Success…

I’m tired of getting fucked in ways that don’t end in an orgasm.

I’m tired…

Never kick me when I'm down, because when I get back up... you're fucked.

Never kick me…

WE NEED TO TALK: Women's secret code for haha sorry, you're fucked.

WE NEED TO TALK…

It doesn’t matter…

Three rules for life: 1 Fuck, 2 Don't give a fuck, 3 Don't be fucked over

THREE RULES FOR LIFE…

Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you’re fucked.

Before sex…