Home  Browse  Tags  Random  Facebook

Heart

I might be mean, but I have a good heart. When I tell someone to go to hell, I still hope they get there safely.

I might be mean…

If I ever said “I love you” I meant it with my whole heart. If I ever said “Fuck you” I meant it a little more.

If I ever said “I love you”…

I’m nice, but I'm also an asshole. I have a big heart, but fuck everyone. I care, but I also really don’t give a fuck. Hope all this makes sense.

I’m nice…

Women only fart in front of men they love. If you haven’t heard her fart, you don’t have her heart.

Women only fart…

When a man is trying to make a decision, it’s often a struggle between his head and his heart. Then his penis walks in and says, “relax guys, I got this”.

When a man is trying…

They said the only way to get over a broken heart is to fall in love again. So I fell in love with myself. Best fucking relationship in my life.

They said the only way to get over…

Crying about a broken heart all day is childish. Get drunk and set shit on fire, like an adult.

Crying about a broken heart…

Things that shouldn’t be broken 1. Hearts, 2. Promises, 3. Condoms

Things that shouldn’t be broken…

In a battle between heart and brain, I always listen to my stomach.

In a battle between…

I don't have any room for hate in my heart. I do have plenty of room for go fuck yourself though.

I don’t have…