Love

You shouldn't have to change yourself for anyone. The right person will love you for the cunt you are.

You shouldn’t…

When love is real the farts don't matter.

When love is real…

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love getting drunk and eating everything.

I wish I loved exercise…

I love saying things that are better left unsaid.

I love saying things…

Better to have loved and divorced than to be stuck with an idiot forever.

Better to have loved…

They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

They say that love is…

I’ve always loved the idea of not being what people expect me to be.

I’ve always loved the idea…

They said the only way to get over a broken heart is to fall in love again. So I fell in love with myself. Best fucking relationship in my life.

They said the only way to get over…

Being kissed while you’re asleep is one of the purest forms of love... Unless you’re in prison.

Being kissed…

I fucking love straight forward people. No bullshit makes life so much easier.

I fucking love straight…