Money

They say money talks, but all mine ever says is ‘good-bye sucker’.

Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how much money you have.

Mo’ money, no problems. No money, mo’ problems.

You know they say money can’t buy happiness. Give me 50 bucks and watch me smile. – Bobby Heenan

Maybe money can’t buy happiness, but I think it’s only fair to give me some and let me learn that lesson myself.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. – Oscar Wilde

I wish people were like money, so you could hold them up to the light to see which ones are real and which ones are fake.

They say money doesn’t bring happiness… I say neither does being broke.

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness never paid for a divorce before.