Piss Off

If I got paid for pissing people off I’d be rich as fuck.

If I got paid…

Short girls look so sweet and cute until you piss them off, then they are like a chipmunk with rabies.

Short girls…

My goal in life is to piss off at least one person a day. So far I’m about 12 years ahead of schedule.

My goal in life…

Arguing with me is a waste of time, I’m so sarcastic and nonchalant that it's gonna piss you off even more.

Arguing with me…

Life should be like hockey. When someone pisses you off you just beat the shit out of them then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes.

Life should be…

People think I go out of my way to piss them off. Trust me, it’s not out of my way at all.

People think…

People say I can’t multitask, but I can piss you off and amuse myself at the same time.

People say I can’t multitask…

Once I learn someone hates me, I make sure to go out of my way to piss them off more because that’s what adults do.

Once I learn…

Never piss off someone who bleeds for 5 days every month and doesn’t die.

Never piss off…

You are gonna piss a lot of people off when you start doing what’s best for you.

You are gonna…