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Shit

Once you hit a certain age you become permanently unimpressed by a lot of shit.

Once you hit a certain age…

If I was a bird, I know who I’d shit on.

If I was a bird…

Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how good you are, the bird is going to shit on the board and strut around like it won anyway.

Arguing with idiots…

If each day is a gift…Can we get a refund on a shitty ones?

If each day is a gift…

It’s okay to be a little fucked up in the head, we all are. It’s only when you are fucked up in the heart that makes you a piece of shit.

It’s okay to be…

Maturity is knowing what shit to cut and what fuck to give.

Maturity is knowing…

Didn’t care yesterday. Don’t give a shit today. Probably won’t give a fuck tomorrow.

Didn’t care yesterday…

Be careful around ass kissers. They’re always the first to talk shit and start drama.

Be careful…

Can you die from constipation? I’m a little worried with how full of shit some people are.

Can you die from constipation?…

Before you speak, listen. Before you act, think. Before you give up try. Before you take a shit, make sure there is toilet paper.

Before you speak…