Woman

When a woman says “correct me if I’m wrong”, do not under any, I mean any circumstances do it.

When a woman says…

Women on the same menstrual cycle as their friends should basically be referred to as gang members. That’s how dangerous they are.

Women on the same…

When a woman asks you to guess her age, it's like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb.

When a woman asks…

Women only fart in front of men they love. If you haven’t heard her fart, you don’t have her heart.

Women only fart…

Never underestimate the power of an extremely pissed off woman.

Never underestimate…

If a man says “fine”, means the war is over. If a woman says “fine”, means the war just started.

If a man says “fine”…

So if a woman’s bra is called an "over the shoulder boulder holder", then is a man’s underwear called "under the butt nut hut?"

So if a woman’s bra …

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, kill someone, lose weight, and eat something sweet.

Being a woman…

One woman’s piece of shit ex boyfriend is some drunk slut’s prince charming.

One woman’s…

Men, don’t judge women by pounds and you won’t be judged by inches.

Men, don’t judge women…