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Cynical Quotes

Listen, I don’t care how stupid you are, if you do it quietly.

Listen, I don’t care…

If you’re having bad day, that’s fine. It’s your day, not mine.

If you’re having bad day…

Sometimes I like to tell people, “I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are”. And then watch their face as they try to determine if it was a compliment or not.

Sometimes I like to tell…

The actual size of the fucks I don’t give can be seen from space.

The actual size…

Please remember, sometimes I’m not the bigger person. So if you go low... when you dip, I dip, we dip.

Please remember…

I don’t wish people “Good morning”. I just say “Morning”, and what kind they actually have is totally up to them. I’m not taking responsibility for that shit.

I don’t wish people…

Most of my decisions are loosely based on whether or not it’s illegal or merely frowned upon.

Most of my decisions…

If you listen closely you can hear me not caring.

If you listen closely…

I don’t care what colour your skin is. I don’t care what size you are. I don’t care what your sexual preference is. I hate everyone. Fuck you.

I don’t care…

I can’t call someone a dumb fuck at work. So instead I say “walk me through your thought process”.

I can’t call someone…