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Cynical Quotes

Go ahead and take risks – it gives the rest of us something to laugh at.
I am no longer following my heart. That bitch gives bad directions.
I go from 0 to fuck everybody real quick.
'You are what you eat.' The fuck??? When did I eat anxiety and back problems?
Sure being positive and nice to everyone all the time is great... But have you ever dropped a good “Fuck You” on someone you don’t like? That shit will help the sun rise.
I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.
Yeah, it's pretty hard not to be completely cynical these days. - David Byrne
Not everyone gets the same version of me. One person might tell you I’m amazing beautiful soul. Another person will say I’m cold-hearted asshole. Believe them both, I act accordingly.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.
I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?
Seeing people walk out of my life is really painful. I want them to run.
Life is what happens when you’re busy reading inspirational quotes.
Sarcasm it’s how I hug.
Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in a bad mood or if everyone around me is really fucking annoying.
If the world didn’t suck we’d all fly into space.
Everything is bad and everyone is dumb.
It’s not an attitude if I have it every day. It’s my personality.
Until you work in food or retail, you have no idea the level of stupid that exist in the world.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. - Steven Wright
I hate when I’m starting to become a good person and someone comes and pushes my asshole-mode buttons.