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Cynical Quotes

I’m not saying I hate you but I’d unplug your life support to charge my phone.

I’m not saying I hate you…

Being alive is so fucking expensive!

Being alive…

Stupidity is not a crime, so you’re free to go.

Stupidity is not a crime…

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have. - Steven Wright

Support bacteria…

Once upon a time, someone, somewhere, finally stopped caring and FUCK THIS SHIT was born.

Once upon a time…

Sometimes you just have to sit back, relax, and let the train wreck itself.

Sometimes you just have to…

Sometimes you got to be smart enough to play stupid.

Sometimes you got to be…

You constantly amaze me... but not in a good way.

You constantly amaze me…

If size doesn’t matter why are there no three inch dildos?

If size doesn’t matter…

Too many idiots, not enough villages.

Too many idiots…