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Cynical Quotes

I’m sorry that my apologies seem insincere and I promise to keep practicing them until you no longer notice.

I’m sorry…

The light at the end of the tunnel is just the light of an oncoming train.

The light…

Maybe if we wait a little longer, a fuck will fall in my hand and I can give it to you.

Maybe if we wait…

Never apologize for being an asshole, because once you stop there's always another one to take your place.

Never apologize…

I haven't seen you since that time I hoped I'd never see you again.

I haven’t seen you…

I don’t want you standing too close to me when karma drops house on you.

I don’t want…

Sometimes you have to just let the karma fix it, because if you fix it, you’re going to jail.

Sometimes you have to…

Why yes, I do smile a little when karma pays a visit to someone who so desperately deserves it.

Why yes…

Marriages are like pancakes. There’s no shame in throwing out the first one.

Marriages are…

Everything happens for a reason except the things you fuck up yourself.

Everything happens…