Cynical Quotes

Be the best version of you, unless you’re an asshole. Don’t be a better asshole.
“Fuck this shit” is always an appropriate response.
Every girl is beautiful. Sometimes it takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.
Oh my lifestyle offends you? Go hold your breath until I give a damn.
I don’t really get upset over much nowadays. I observe, I listen, and then treat your ass accordingly.
When your opinions can pay my bills that’s when I’ll start paying more attention to you. Till then STFU.
I like the person I am.You don't have to.
Hating people takes too much energy. I just pretend they’re dead.
Rude, Sarcastic, Funny Quotes & Sayings
If you’re talking behind my back than you’re in the perfect position to kiss my ass.
I don’t hate you, I'm just not necessarily excited about your existence.
Think whatever you like of me if it helps you sleep at night. In the end I get to keep my integrity while you feed your own bullshit to stay alive.
Never get jealous when you see your ex with someone else, because our parents taught us to give our used toys to the less fortunate.
I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay. - Madonna
I’d rather be an honest asshole than a well liked liar.
I wish people were like money, so you could hold them up to the light to see which ones are real and which ones are fake.
Spreading rumors about me? Well that’s good... I mean at least you learned to spread something other then your legs!
Sometimes you have to be the bigger person and walk away. Other times, you have to be the bigger bitch to remind them who they're dealing with.
I'm not insulting you. I'm describing you.
It isn't that I'm not a people person, I'm just not a stupid people person.