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Cynical Quotes

I wish more people were fluent in silence.

I wish…

BOSSHOLE: A person who turns into an asshole ten seconds after being made supervisor.

BOSSHOLE…

Masturbation is the only thing that isn't taxed, regulated, or illegal. That's your "freedom". You're free to go fuck yourself.

Masturbation…

I used to care what people thought about me, until one day, I tried to pay my bills with their opinions.

I used to care…

Of course life is a bitch. If it was a slut it would be easy.

Of course life is a bitch…

Funny how everything goes your way when you stop giving a fuck.

Funny how…

My ex has one very annoying habit. Breathing.

My ex has…

Life is a dick, sometimes it gets hard for no reason.

Life is a dick…

Have you ever met someone and thought, “There goes the reason why contraceptives were invented?”

Have you ever met someone…

Before you judge me try walking a mile in my shoes so you can see how little I care and how good it feels to be a mile away from you.

Before you judge me…