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Cynical Quotes

I’ve reached that age where my brain goes from “You probably shouldn’t say that” to “What the hell, let’s see what happens”.

I’ve reached…

Of course I speak my mind. My head would explode if I kept all this bitching to myself!

Of course I speak my mind…

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Remember…

Stop telling everybody I’m fucking crazy. I love to see the surprises on their faces when they figure it out by themselves.

Stop telling everybody…

Don’t give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.

Don’t give up…

Bitch please, your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Bitch please…

Do you ever meet someone for the first time and want to buy them a toaster for their bathtub?

Do you ever meet someone…

Before you judge me, you better make sure you're fucking perfect.

Before you judge me…

“Be yourself” is about the worst advice you can give to some people. – Thomas L. Masson

“Be yourself”…

I don’t owe anyone any explanations for why I do the shit I do.

I don’t owe…