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Demotivational Quotes

If I actually “spoke my mind” I’d be in deep shit.

If I actually “spoke my mind”…

My entire life can be summed up in one sentence: “Well, that didn’t go as planned” – Darynda Jones

My entire life…

If each day is a gift…Can we get a refund on a shitty ones?

If each day is a gift…

If it’s the thought that counts then I should probably be in jail.

If it’s the thought that counts…

Every day is another opportunity to fuck it all up again.

Every day is…

Don’t worry about getting older. You’re still going to do dumb stuff, only slower.

Don’t worry about…

Nobody dies a virgin. Life fucks us all. – Kurt Cobain

Nobody dies a virgin…

Being single is lonely. Being in a relationship is stressful. Just talking to people is fucking annoying. You really can’t win.

Being single…

pen-minded. your brains fall out. - G.K. Chesterton.

Do not be…

Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you’re fucked.

Before sex…