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Funny Quotes

Bad decisions make good stories.

Bad decisions make good stories.

May all of your ups and downs be between the sheets. - Hilary Storm

May all of your ups…

Wake up. Kick ass. Be kind. Repeat.

Wake up…

Therapy helps but screaming obscenities is faster and cheaper.

Therapy helps…

Confidence is knowing you’re making a giant mistake and doing it anyway.

Confidence is…

“Law of physics”. Tequila goes in. Truth goes out.

“Law of physics”…

Still a little pissed I can’t fly or set things on fire with my mind.

Still a little pissed…

I’m just temperamental. Half temper, half mental.

I’m just temperamental…

A simple hello could lead to a million things. Like butt touches.

A simple hello…

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that.

Some people get weird…