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Funny Quotes

Once an asshole, always an asshole.

Once an asshole…

Brains are awesome. I wish everybody had one.

Brains are awesome…

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard, be evil. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Knowledge is power…

Oh you’re dating my ex? Cool, I’m eating a sandwich. Want this leftovers too?

Oh you’re dating my ex?…

Been feeling a little moody and run down lately. So I looked up my symptoms. It’s adulthood. I have adulthood.

Been feeling…

Love is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill and not doing it because you’d miss them.

Love is…

I don’t really have a plan. I rely solely on caffeine and weirdness to get me through the day.

I don’t really have a plan…

ALCOHOL! because sometimes the truth needs laxative.

ALCOHOL…

I don’t get nearly enough credit in life for all the things I manage not to say. - Meg Rosoff

I don’t get nearly enough…

I may legally be an adult but don't be fooled... I have no fucking idea what I’m doing.

I may legally be…