Funny Quotes

The best friendships are built on solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, laughter and dislike of the same people.

The best friendships…

Marriage is finding that special someone you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Marriage is…

Taking back your ex is like buying your shit back from your own garage sale.

Taking back your ex…

I think bees teach us an important lesson. You may be small, you may be tiny, but when you’re chasing someone with a sharp object… people will still run from you.

I think bees teach us…

Every time a woman shaves her legs and doesn’t get laid, a unicorn dies.

Every time a woman shaves…

The best way to lose weight is to only eat inspirational quotes.

The best way to lose weight…

Being alone in the toilet is the reminder that you will always be alone when shit happens in your life. Be strong.

Being alone…

Once I get an attitude, it takes me 3-5 business days to fix my face.

Once I get an attitude…

Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.

Don’t grow up…

I may look like I’m doing nothing but in my head I’m quite busy.

I may look like…