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Funny Quotes

Drunk me loves creating awkward situations for sober me.

Drunk me loves…

I must warn you. My inner child is a mean little shit.

I must warn you…

Remember, you're only young once but you can be immature forever.

Remember…

When the going gets tough, the tough gets tougher.

When the going gets tough…

Funny about getting older, your eyesight may weaken yet you can see through people much better.

Funny about getting older…

There is a difference between talking shit about a person and talking truth about a shitty person.

There is a difference…

You never realize how weird you are until you have a kid, who acts just like you.

You never realize…

What is love? Love is the 7th sense of human that destroys all the six senses and make the person non-sense.

What is love?…

Telling an angry woman to calm down works about as well as baptizing a cat.

Telling an angry woman…

Half the day, I wonder if it’s too late for coffee. The other half, I wonder if it’s too early for alcohol.

Half the day…