Inappropriate Quotes

Your flexibility amazes me. How do you get your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass all at the same time?

Your flexibility…

In a room full of dicks You should not be an asshole.

In a room full of dicks…

I swear some people must have been conceived through anal sex. There is no way being that much of an asshole is natural.

I swear…

Just how deep is the average vagina, actually? Deep enough for a man to lose his house, his car, his dog, and half of his savings and assets.

Just how deep…

If I ever give a flying fuck, it'll be because it's sex position.

If I ever give a flying fuck…

Having a bad day? You could be a siamese twin attached to a gay brother who has a date and you you're the only one with an ass

Having a bad day?…

Three rules for life: 1 Fuck, 2 Don't give a fuck, 3 Don't be fucked over

THREE RULES FOR LIFE…

If you're over 40 it's no longer called masturbation. It's called a system check.

If you’re over 40…

To the women who say "all men are the same". Maybe you shouldn't have tried them all?

To the women who say…

I like the type of people whose sense of humor may be described as "inappropriate" with the chance of ruining family dinner.

I like the type of people…