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Insulting

I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't stick my head that far up my ass.

If you don't like the word cunt, then don't act like a cunt, and you won't be called a cunt. Ya cunt.

I hate when people use their zodiac to justify shitty behaviour like "Sorry I can't help it, I'm a Scorpio". No Susan, you're just a bitch.

If you can't look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

People like to say they are "Real", but they don't say real what. Real shady, real needy, a real piece of shit. Sorry, but I need you to be more specific.

Bitch Please, I'm so freaking fabulous, I pee glitter, shit cupcakes, and fart rainbows.

I would slap you, but shit splatters.

You remind me of a penny. Worthless, two-faced,and inside everyone's pants.

Do you know what sexual position produces the ugliest children? Go ask your mother.

If laughter is the best medicine your face must be curing the world.

I guess those enlargement pills are working because you're twice the dick you were yesterday.

ASKHOLE: A person who constantly asks for advice then does the opposite of what you told them.

Think old and you'll be old. Think young and you'll be a delusional old fart.

Scientists say the world is made up of Photons, Neutrons, and Electrons. Hell, they forgot to mention Morons.

Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of shit.

Some people make me wonder… How do they fit all that stupid into one head?

Do you ever meet someone and think dumbass, then listen to them and think bloody fucking dumbass?

Bitch please, your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Masturbation is the only thing that isn’t taxed, regulated, or illeagal. That’s your “freedom”. You’re free to go fuck yourself.

I’m not a proctologist but I know an asshole when I see one.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. – Alan Dundes

How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how good you are, the bird is going to shit on the board and strut around like it won anyway.

I suck at apologies, so…unfuck you or whatever.

Mirrors don’t lie. And lucky for you they don’t laugh either.

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