Life Quotes

Marriage is finding that special someone you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Marriage is…

I’m just WTF-ING my way through life.

I’m just WTF-ING…

Being alone in the toilet is the reminder that you will always be alone when shit happens in your life. Be strong.

Being alone…

My life would be so much easier if I wasn't intelligent enough to realize how fucking stupid some people are.

My life would be…

It isn’t the ups and downs that make life difficult; it’s the jerks. - Charlie Chaplin

It isn’t the ups and downs…

I fucking love straight forward people. No bullshit makes life so much easier.

I fucking love straight…

Life is an endless series of trainwrecks with only brief, commercial-like breaks of happiness.

Life is…

Love is a weird thing, like you just pick a human and you’re yes, I like this one, I’ll let this one ruin my life forever.

Love is a weird thing…

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. When life is a bitch beer is a must.

Ashes to ashes…

In my next life, I am coming back with money and looks instead of all this sparkling personality bullshit.

In my next life…