Life Quotes, Thoughts, Sayings, Remarks

Dear life, could you at least start using lubricant?
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "why me" say "try me".
They said life is too short to hold grudges. I think life too short to be letting people get away with the same shit.
Life is too short to worry about stupid things. Have fun, regret nothing, and don't let people bring you down.
I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
I will always struggle throughout my life. But I will always find a way to fucking survive.
There’s a “hell” in hello, "good" in goodbye, "lie" in believe,"over" in lover, "end" in friend, and “if” in life.
Yes, I've made mistakes. Life doesn't come with instructions. And if it did, I wouldn't follow them anyway.
Sometimes I sit quietly and wonder why I’m not in a mental asylum. Then I take a good look around at everyone and realize... maybe I am.
3 THINGS TO KNOW IN LIFE: 1. Never beg anyone, 2. Never trust anyone, 3. Never depend on anyone
Whatever life throws at you, duck and let it hit someone else.
I'm so glad I grew up in the '80s and '90s. I did so much stupid shit - and there is no record of it anywhere.
Whoever said money can't buy happiness never paid for a divorce before.
At this point in my life I am positive some people were put on this earth to test my alcohol tolerance level.
I used to think I had some control over my life. Now, I just pull up a chair and watch the shit show unfold before me.
Life is a bitch. So learn how to fuck it.
Life begins the moment you realize you don't have to prove shit to anyone.
I wonder if life smokes after it fucks me.
The only BS I need in my life is BEER and SEX.
The older I get the more everyone can kiss my ass.