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Life Quotes

Too many people are walking around unmedicated, unsupervised, and affecting my life.

Too many people…

Happy wife, happy life. Happy husband, suspicious wife.

Happy wife…

If you can’t laugh at life it will fucking eat you alive.

If you can’t laugh…

Next time you're feeling down remember life is all about perspective. I have a friend who has sex 2-3 times a day, exercises twice a day, reads two books a week yet every day he complains about how much he hates prison.

Next time you’re feeling…

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the internet arguing with strangers.

Life is short…

Your life is not yours if you’re constantly care what other people think.

Your life…

When I cut someone from my life, it doesn’t mean I hate them. It just means my table doesn’t need the shit they bring.

When I cut…

Fool me once, fuck you. Life is too short for three strikes.

Fool me once…

My doctor asked me if I ever had a stress test. “Yes” I replied. It’s called life.

My doctor asked…

My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.

My life feels…