Life Quotes

I wonder how long is life going to fuck me until it just wants to cuddle?

I wonder how long…

Them: You’re fucking psychopath. Me: At least I’m on a path. Sort your life out motherfuckers.

Them: You’re fucking psychopath…

Stop complaining about your life. There people out there dating your ex.

Stop complaining…

At least life wants to fuck me.

At least life wants…

Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting “Holy shit... what a ride!”

Life’s journey…

Too many people are walking around unmedicated, unsupervised, and affecting my life.

Too many people…

Happy wife, happy life. Happy husband, suspicious wife.

Happy wife…

If you can’t laugh at life it will fucking eat you alive.

If you can’t laugh…

Next time you're feeling down remember life is all about perspective. I have a friend who has sex 2-3 times a day, exercises twice a day, reads two books a week yet every day he complains about how much he hates prison.

Next time you’re feeling…

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the internet arguing with strangers.

Life is short…