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Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Men who say women belong in the kitchen obviously don't know what to do with them in the bedroom.

Men who say women belong in the kitchen obviously don’t know what to do with them in the bedroom.

Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.

Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.

How to win the heart of a woman: Kiss her, love her, go to the end of the world for her. How to win the heart of a man: Come naked and carry a pack of beer.

How to win the heart of a woman: Kiss her, love her, go to the end of the world for her. How to win the heart of a man: Come naked and carry a pack of beer.

Being a man is not easy. No makeup, no wig, if you’re ugly you just ugly.

Being a man is not easy. No makeup, no wig, if you’re ugly you just ugly.

All men like to think they're marrying nymphomaniacs. The problem is, after a few years the nympho leaves and the maniac stays.

All men like to think they’re marrying nymphomaniacs. The problem is, after a few years the nympho leaves and the maniac stays.

Men only have 2 emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection make him a sandwich.

Men only have 2 emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection make him a sandwich.

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. - George Carlin

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. – George Carlin

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. - Chauncey Depew

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. – Chauncey Depew

Men, if you ever want to know what a woman's mind feels like, imagine a browser with 2576 tabs open. ALL THE TIME.

Men, if you ever want to know what a woman’s mind feels like, imagine a browser with 2576 tabs open. ALL THE TIME.