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Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Men who say women belong in the kitchen obviously don’t know what to do with them in the bedroom.
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
How to win the heart of a woman: Kiss her, love her, go to the end of the world for her. How to win the heart of a man: Come naked and carry a pack of beer.
Being a man is not easy. No makeup, no wig, if you’re ugly you just ugly.
All men like to think they’re marrying nymphomaniacs. The problem is, after a few years the nympho leaves and the maniac stays.
Men only have 2 emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection make him a sandwich.
Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. – George Carlin
A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. – Chauncey Depew
Men, if you ever want to know what a woman’s mind feels like, imagine a browser with 2576 tabs open. ALL THE TIME.