Men Quotes

I don’t get why men are always trying to have threesomes ... Like, why? Are you trying to disappoint 2 women at the same time.

I don’t get why…

Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Give him a pen and he'll probably draw a penis.

Give a man a fish…

Men are like shoe laces, they go through many holes before they tie the knot.

Men are like shoe laces…

Just because you have a beard, it doesn’t mean you’re a man. Vaginas can grow hair too.

Just because you have a beard…

A foolish man complains about his torn pocket, while a wise man uses it to scratch his balls.

A foolish man complains…

Women are like iPhones: you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberries: rub one ball and everything moves.

Women are like iPhones…

Your job as a woman is to observe when your man is happy and immediately put a stop to that nonsense.

Your job as a woman…

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “smell this”, it usually smells nice.

One big difference…

I never understand men who pay dominatrixes to degrade them. Just get married and fold the towels wrong, mate.

I never understand men…

BOOBS. Absolute proof that a man can in fact concentrate on two things at the same time.

BOOBS…