Men Quotes

Men at 25 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller.

Men at 25 play football…

I don’t get why men are always trying to have threesomes ... Like, why? Are you trying to disappoint 2 women at the same time.

I don’t get why…

Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Give him a pen and he'll probably draw a penis.

Give a man a fish…

Men are like shoe laces, they go through many holes before they tie the knot.

Men are like shoe laces…

Just because you have a beard, it doesn’t mean you’re a man. Vaginas can grow hair too.

Just because you have a beard…

A foolish man complains about his torn pocket, while a wise man uses it to scratch his balls.

A foolish man complains…

Women are like iPhones: you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberries: rub one ball and everything moves.

Women are like iPhones…

Your job as a woman is to observe when your man is happy and immediately put a stop to that nonsense.

Your job as a woman…

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “smell this”, it usually smells nice.

One big difference…

I never understand men who pay dominatrixes to degrade them. Just get married and fold the towels wrong, mate.

I never understand men…