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Men Quotes

Men only have 2 emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection make him a sandwich.

Men only have 2 emotions…

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. - George Carlin

Here’s all you have to…

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. - Chauncey Depew

A pessimist…

Men, if you ever want to know what a woman's mind feels like, imagine a browser with 2576 tabs open. ALL THE TIME.

Men, if you ever want to know…

Men are a lot like infants. If you want them to shut up just put a boob in their mouth.

Men are a lot like infants…

MEN ARE THE BEST COOKS because with two eggs, one sausage, and a little bit of milk he can fill a girl's tummy for nine months.

MEN ARE THE BEST COOKS…

The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.

The ideal man…

To the women who say "all men are the same". Maybe you shouldn't have tried them all?

To the women who say…

Women fall in love with what they hear. Men fall in love with what they see. That's why women wear makeup and men lie.

Women fall in love…

Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms.

Women fake orgasms…