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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me for not beating the fuck out of you the first time.

Fool me once…

Some people are such treasures that you want to bury them.

Some people…

If someone throws a stone at you, throw a flower at them. But remember to throw the flower pot with it.

If someone throws a stone…

I hide behind sarcasm because telling you to go fuck yourself is considered rude in most social situations.

I hide behind sarcasm…

Have you ever just agreed with someone so they would shut the hell up?

Have you ever…

Taking your ex back is like trying to put poop back in your butt.

Taking your ex back…

Everything happens for a reason and sometimes the reason is that you are stupid and made a bad decision.

Everything happens…

Forget about the zombie apocalypse, it’s never gonna happen. Worry about the dumbass apocalypse, it’s already upon ass.

Forget about…

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.

I can only please…

From the moment I saw you, I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life avoiding you.

From the moment…