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Sarcastic Quotes

Just be you, and if people don't like it, well fuck them.

Just be you…

The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.

The ideal man…

Life is so much easier when you just don't give a shit.

Life is so much easier…

Every damn day I ask the same three questions. What the fuck is wrong with people? What the fuck was I thinking? Where the fuck is my drink?

Every damn day…

Don't talk to me about shit that happened when I was drunk. "Drunk me" and "Sober me" are not on speaking terms.

Don’t talk to me…

Revenge is beneath me. Accident however will happen.

Revenge is beneath me…

Just because I swear doesn't mean I don't have manners. I say "please" when I tell someone to fuck off.

Just because I swear…

The more I get to know certain people... The more I realize why Noah only let animals board the ark.

The more I get to know…

I hug people that I hate so that I know how big to dig the hole in my backyard.

I hug people that I hate…

So let me get this straight. Women wear fake hear, nails, lashes, contacts. Buy fake tits, lips, ass, and get botox... but want a real man?

So let me get this straight…