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Sarcastic Quotes

Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence eat bacon.

Every day…

If a woman tells you that you’re right, that’s called sarcasm.

If a woman tells…

Another fine day ruined by responsibility.

Another fine day…

Some days my biggest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Some days…

I’m not a gynecologist, but I know a cunt when I see one.

I’m not a gynecologist…

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

I believe…

Life is about saying “FUCK IT” to those who matter, and “FUCK YOU” to those who don’t.

Life is…

Do you ever meet someone and think dumbass, then listen to them and think bloody fucking dumbass?

Do you ever meet someone…

Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

Don’t think of yourself…

Don’t half ass anything. Whatever you do, always use your full ass.

Don’t half ass anything…