Home     Browse     Tags     Random

About    Quotes    Search

Sarcastic Quotes

Forgive and forget? I’m neither Jesus nor do I have an Alzheimer’s.

Forgive and forget?…

I told myself that I should stop drinking. But I’m not about to listen to a drunk that talk to himself.

I told myself…

Don’t break anybody’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.

Don’t break anybody’s heart…

Hitting the gym to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that caused that stress to begin with. - Alan Garner

Hitting the gym…

Don’t make excuses for nasty people. You can’t put a flower in an asshole and call it a vase.

Don’t make excuses…

Blessed are the constipated for they don’t give a shit.

Blessed are the constipated…

Friends are like boobs. Some are big, some are small. Some are real and some are fake.

Friends are like boobs…

Complaining is mouth farting. And like any farting, I don’t mind hearing my own, but I don’t want to hear anyone else’s.

Complaining is…

“As fuck” is my favorite unit of measurement.

“As fuck”…

Fake people have an image to maintain. Real people just don’t give a shit!

Fake people…