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Sarcastic Quotes

I need to teach my facial expression how to use their inside voice.

I need to teach…

My personality is somewhere between Mother Teresa and Motherfucker.

My personality…

When life shuts a door... open it again. It’s a door. That' how they work.

When life shuts a door…

The good news is I’m pretty much who I say I am. The bad news is I’m pretty much who I say I am.

The good news…

You don’t have to like me, just don’t try me.

You don’t have to…

I wouldn't have to manage my anger if people could learn to manage their stupidity.

I wouldn’t have to manage…

Don't let wack ass people fuck with your dope ass energy.

Don’t let wack ass people…

When I said I like it rough I meant the sex, not the whole fucking relationship.

When I said I like it rough…

Single, because why let someone else ruin your life when you’re perfctly capable of doing it on your own.

Single…

Your opinion matters. Not to me, but I’m sure someone somewhere cares at least a little bit.

Your opinion matters…