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Sarcastic Quotes

When I think about you I touch myself. Meaning I rub my temples, because you’re giving me a fucking migraine.

When I think about you…

If you think you’are fucked up, just remember there’s someone meeting your ex right now thinking that they found someone special.

If you think…

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it. - W. C. Fields

If at first you don’t succeed…

Let whoever think whatever.

Let whoever think whatever…

Some people are like birds. You help them fly and once they're in the air they shit on you.

Some people are like birds…

Some people should use a glue stick instead of chapstick.

Some people should…

The older I get, the more ridiculous you all seem.

The older I get…

I hate when people tell me to be myself then get offended when I tell them how fucking dumb I think they are.

I hate when people tell…

I’ve got a smile on my face and fuck y'all attitude.

I’ve got a smile on my face…

Sometimes I wrestle with my demons. Sometimes we just snuggle.

Sometimes I wrestle with…